A Feeling (part 1)

I can barely hear myself think.

Incantations are spoken in hushed whispers throughout my mind. The words and letters blur, melding together indistinctly. I can't hush the voices or stop the intermingling of the words--I can only watch helplessly as they do so. I can feel it slipping, but I'm afraid I can't hold onto it. I...am not sure what "it" is, but when I imagine not having it, I can feel a knot of horror in the pit of my stomach.

It isn't a person. It isn't a phsyical object. I don't know how I know this, but whatever "it" is, I know it's not either of those. It's something I feel like I require, but what? I can't, for the life of me, figure it out.

What is "it"? Why am I so frightened by the possible loss of it? How and why am I losing it? Is there even an "it"? Or...am I just imagining things?

I need to know. Soon.