The Coward

A bright flash filled the night sky and the heavens seemed to break apart; water pouring downwards as thunder rolled off towards the distant mountains. He'd seen this place before, it was familiar, and yet so alien. Small eyes drifted upwards from all around, from cracks and fissures in the earth. There was something ominous about them, but he felt no fear. No, he felt enlightened, felt compelled to follow their gazes. Steeling himself for what he might see, he licked his lips and turned his face skyward. Large drops of water crashed against his bare forehead, mixing with the dirt and grime that had collected upon him from his travels. The mixture left a sour taste in his mouth, but he ignored it, his jaw slacked already.

For overhead was the most awe-inspiring and terrifying scene he'd ever seen. A wyvern of incomparable size loomed above him, wheeling just below the cloudline.

Frantically, the Tarutaru glanced about, looking for something; anything! to stop this menace or elude it if nothing else. Nothing offered itself up though, nothing for the sacrifice. Even the small eyes had winked shut, returning to the darkness wence they had come.
"Veovis..." a voice whispered from all around him, and at once he knew it to be the wyvern speaking.

"Wha...?" The Taru asked the darkness around him. It seemed to be closing in.

"Veovis.... you are a coward.." the thing spat, cackling as it descended downwards. The Gods seemed to answer its insult, sending several crackles of lightning followed by another peal of thunder, then the rain worsened. "You flee your past... You flee your friends..your enemies.. your world.. You have shut yourself away beyond the realm of Man, into the Canyons north of your true home.. You are a coward," the wyvern then drew back and opened its tooth-filled maw. It went on speaking, though its mouth no longer moved. "How far will you run Coward? To the ends of Vana'diel? No sea can carry you far enough from the truth."

Veovis grabbed at his over-sized ears and tugged them down, trying to drown out the horrid sound of the creature. Its voice was loud, booming from all sides, and sounded as if many voices spoke at once, a terrible cacophany of sound.

"Im.. I'm no coward.." the white mage managed to stammer, only to be answered by a snarl from the beast.

"A coward -and- a liar! You've run as far as you can..."

He closed his eyes then, as whispers of other voices crushed in around him. Dozens of them it sounded like, and try though he might he couldnt drown them out.

Words of hope, of praise, of friendship. Words cast in the world of Light; promises of love and longevity, of togetherness eternal. The very words that had lead him to this realm of despair.
"They've all abandoned you.." the beast laughed, the sound piercing through the rest of the voices, the memories, the thoughts, the hopes and dreams. "And now youre alone, because you could not help them. Because you were afraid!"

"I was afraid.." he mutely repeated the words. "I've always... been afraid.."

"You always will be." The Wyvern affirmed. "For you are a coward, and such is the cowards lot."

"Im a coward.." the meek taru quietly stated, as if admitting it to himself for the first time. How untrue that was though; he'd admitted it a thousand times over. In his months of seperation from society he'd claimed that everything had been his fault, due to his fraility and cowardice. Even when he'd found his friends again, he never allowed himself to draw too close out of his own fear of letting them down, just as he'd done to himself. He'd told them all he was to set upon a journey of self-discovery. And what a lie that had been, he had only crawled back under his rock, deep within the canyons of Tahrongi.

"You know of what I speak," there was thunder again, more rain. The hilltops were soaked, the earth sliding under his feet as the rain saturated deeper and deeper. He had to stumble to catch himself. He turned sharply to peer down towards the canyon, and to his shock he saw nothingness below him. The earth fell away to an infinite abyss. All around him was this abyss. "You know it is the truth. The truth you run from. That you are a coward. You couldnt save your parents. You couldnt help your friends. They've forgotten you by now, you know.."

"Shut up!" Veovis cried out, releasing his ears and snapping an angered gaze upwards. The beast chuckled.

"Hit a nerve, did I? It matters little.." It took to wing again, flapping up huge gusts of wind as it moved skyward. Veovis was now standing on a small island in the middle of absolute darkness. Choking darkness, darkness that clung to him and restricted his movements.

"You ran... you ran away.. and hid yourself, too. They must think you dead, they never came to seek you, did they?" It laughed again, then turned that maw back towards the healer. "But you cant run anymore.. theres nowhere left to run..."

As it spoke, the darkness swarmed in around him, thousands of hands grabbing at him, tugging him towards that inexplicable darkness. "No!" He cried, struggling as hard as he could, but to no avail. "No...!" he said, or tried to, but found his breath cut short. The very last thing he saw was that terrible maw closing down around him.

And then there was warmth. Sun beams filtered in around him through cracks in the rock, bathing his world in light. Birds quietly chirped somewhere in the distance. Some bug made a high-pitched ringing sound as it called for its mate. The wind blew gently, blowing the sweet scent of plants in bloom far to the south on the grasslands of the Sarutabaruta. He was safe, there was no wyvern, no darkness, no voices.

With a sigh, he tossed his blanket aside and stared up at the cracks, into the sunlight. He wasnt dirty as he had been when they'd first found him; he knew of a freshwater underground spring he used to bathe in, having no fear of being seen in this place of the wilds. He had lost his shame the moment he'd removed his priestly vestments. Altana was with him, or so he believed, and She always would be, but his days with the church had long since passed. The debacle that had cost him his role as Bishop had scarred him and his name deeply enough that he was shunned in nearly all churches of the land.

"This is the only place scumaru like me should be allowed to residey-widey," he muttered, cursing his native tongue at the same time. "So close to home.. yet so far.. I can even smell it," he went on, ears drooping at the thought. How he longed to be beneath the banners of Windurst again. To hear the teachings at the various schools of thought and magic. To stand proudly before the Star Sibyl, as one of her people. And how his stomach growled as he thought of the delicious Rolanberry pies the cooking guild was famous for. Chuckling despite himself, he recalled some distant memory of being a hotshot, walking into the cooking guild after a particularily difficult mission, boasting of this and that and being aptly rewarded with 'as many pies as he could carry'. When was the last time he'd even tasted pie?

Chewing idly on what was left of last nights meager stew, he kicked his small foot over the dying fire, smothering the last of its embers.

He rose quickly and started for the entrance of the cave, wrought now with the memories of his friends. Where had their journey taken them, he wondered. What would it had been like if he were brave enough to make it with them? What adventures could they have seen? All unknown forever, all for fear. Fear of failure. Of loss. Of pain. Of living.

"I pray every day that I will see you again my friends.." said the white mage softly, fingers tracing the ampulla that had been made for him by his dearest of friends, and even then the thought of her brought up a lump in his throat and caused his eyes to go a bit misty. That was perhaps the one loss that hurt him the most profoundly. Truly, he'd loved all he'd journeyed with. But he loved one above the others, one who had sealed herself forever within the chambers of his heart. One who would forever be perfect in his eyes, no matter how imperfect he may be. "I pray hardest," he continued in the same soft voice, still toying with the stones linked together by simple string, "that I will see you again Solitia..and perhaps I will...one day when i'm stronger.. but until then.."

He sighed and hung the beads back about his neck beside his phial and stepped out into the bright sunlight. It was just after midday, he figured, by the heat of the sun. Several Dhalmel idly lurched about in the distance.

"Until then.. I'm just a coward."