Note Book 10 Page 51-54

I keep staring at the ring on my hand. I haven't been able to write for the past few days about this because I just couldn't stop shaking or giggling long enough to do so. But I think I've finally calmed down enough to be able to write this out. I remember everything so vividly...

Over a week ago Alberic told me he had seen Sparhawk in Windurst so I went to look for him. He was heading out of the Manustery when I found him, but he was in a rush and only had time to tell me that he would seem me later. Then I noticed his hands, which were covered in burns and gashes. I tried to follow him and ask what had happened but he told me it was nothing and not to worry about it. But I was worried.

And I stayed worried, for nearly a week. But a few days ago I woke up with a note from him near me. The note told me to go to the top of Parradamo Tor, a place I've wanted to go with him for a long time. I didn't waste any time, got dressed, grabbed my things, and made my way out to Attohwa Chasm. His note said it was urgent and I hurried out there as quickly as I could, but it always takes me nearly a full day's time to make it from the crag of Mea to the top of Parradamo Tor.

By the time I made it to the top the sun was setting, which always make the canyon below glow in an orangish red light. He was standing close to the Cradle of Rebirth, staring into it. When he turned to me he had a very serious look on his face and his hands were even more beat up than the last time I had seen them. I started worrying again, especially after he said that he wanted to be up there with me at least once. He looked out across the canyon for a moment, the sun had set to a certain point that the glow of twilight was all around and you could see the first stars appearing over the horizon, he told me that he could see why I liked it up there.

I hadn't been up there in a long time, hoping that the next time I went up there it would be with him, I guess that hope came true. He turned abruptly back to me, saying he didn't want to beat around the bush. He said the situation with Lillias had given him time to think, especially about the direction that we have been going. He began naming off points saying that I am a distraction to him, that he is too old for me, that I deserved someone more whole and pure, that he didn't know if he would make it back from missions, that he still had a price on his head in the empire... Every point he made he would tick off on his beaten fingers. And every point he made I felt more and more uncomfortable.

He looked back at me, saying that he wasn't right for me and he had always known this. I was afraid he was going to have to leave again, but that wasn't it. He took my hand, saying that he couldn't bear to see me hurt, even for a second. I felt something small being pressed into my palm and he closed my fingers around it. "Nothing would make me happier than if you'd agree to be my wife. Please consider it." The feeling I felt when he said that... I don't know if I can accurately describe. It felt like all my blood rushed down to my feet, my heart was pounding, I'm sure my eyes looked like they could have popped out of my head at any time, everything just felt heavy, and I got weak in the knees. The next thing I knew Sparhawk was holding my arms to keep me from falling over.

When I looked up into his eyes I could feel my own filled with tears. I've never felt so happy... If I had feeling in my legs at that time I think I could have done backflips. I hugged him as tightly as I could, but every onz of my strength was gone and I couldn't help it when I started shaking. I didn't need to consider it, I don't think anything in this world would make me happier, so of course I accepted! I heard him sigh very slightly after I told him yes, I wonder if he was afraid I wouldn't respond or would say no? The only way I would have not responded or not said yes to him is if I had fainted on the spot. But even if I had, I would have told him yes once I woke up.

I was still shaking when we kissed and if he wasn't still been holding me I think I would have collapsed. He was worried that he had shocked me too much, but I told him I was fine and really I was, I was just so excited! The thing he had put in my hand earlier was a lovely little ring with his name etched into it. When he took my hand and put the ring on one of my fingers I saw his hands close up. They looked so battered and thrashed, he had worked so hard to be able to make this ring for me and his poor hands had taken such a beating. He wanted to be able to make something worthy of me, and he did. I love it, I love him, and I always will, no matter what.

I'm getting married! I feel like the happiest girl alive! I wonder how mom reacted when dad proposed to her? Or how Mia reacted when Alberic proposed to her? I feel so giddy, warm, and jittery even days later. I love Sparhawk so much... I just feel so overjoyed!! There are so many things running through my head right now, so many things to think about, things to work on, and I still need to talk to my friends! Though right now, one thing for sure... There is no way what so ever that I'm having a bachelorette party.