Letter not meant to be read.

Kre'oss,

This letter is not meant to come to you, and I will ensure that it does not. At least, not at this time. I think of you always; it is proving near impossible to let you go. Even now, after what I have witnessed and believe you to have done. I do not know any longer if I believe in destiny, as it seems I've interupted what should have been destiny on several occasions. Perhaps it was your destiny to kill Esbet. I just am not sure what to think any longer. Alby seems to think you are not yourself, and are being controled by someone else. I cannot imagine you succumbing to someone else's whims however. Tsiife and Lyall seem to think there has to be a good reason behind why you did it. I do not know where to go to find the answers. At this very moment, none of it seems to matter.

I'm sitting here in my Moghouse, leaning against a bookshelf and seeing you in every corner. I've tried to change it, to remove some of the memories, but I see you still. I sold our bed, the huge dressers, the cupboards. That drawer I opened on that night, to give you my ring, it is gone. Yet I still see that scene when I look in that corner. I see the phantom tub in the spot we shared a bath and a breakfast on that last morning. I see you standing in front of the fire, shivering and afraid. I see you in my arms as we laid together on our bed. The furniture is gone but your phantom is still here. Sometimes I hear the door gently open and close, the way you used to be so careful not to disturb me, but when I turn, I see only an empty doorway.

If I could turn back time, if I could have prevented all the accusations, all the hurtful things I said, perhaps I could have stopped Esbet's death. Perhaps you would have come to me, and welcomed my open arms again. A week to me, twenty years to you. I regret that I sent you back. I wish more than anything that you were still here with me, or that I had gone with you.

I am sorry I have failed you. I am sorry I am not a worthy creature to be part of your life. Forgive me that I still hold on when there is nothing left but mist and shadows.

I love you still,
Kohra