Reciprocity: Act and Feeling.

A letter is pinned to the door of Master Ikari's Mog House.

My dear Master Ikari:

I hope that this note receives you in reasonable good health and spirits, circumstances nonwithstanding. I became aware of the recent occurrences via a most unusual vessel; upon a visit to Kohra's Mog House, I found his dwelling locked and a note of most dire import left behind for any to view. In the note, Kohra expressed his intention to exchange himself with a villain that he referred to only as Lillias, a villain that seemed to have taken forcible possession of your husband. I was even more amazed at Kohra's intention to meet with this said villain and switch places with Alberic; he continued to say that this was because he was expendable.

Naturally, such a development was anathema to me. I took the note and departed immediately for Aht Urhgan. I have traveled in my time as an adventurer frequently to the Empire, as those in our business are wont to do, to hone my skills and derive some small fortune from mercenary works. Now, my purpose was much more finely honed; I cast my mind wide and listened with all of my power for any who had thought or recollection of Kohra. To my delight, I found soon that he had traveled to the Undersea Ruins off of Nyzul Isle by following the thought of the Tarutaru gentleman who issues runic portal passes. His recollection of Kohra was relatively recent, and Kohra's mien and appearance distinctive, so it was with renewed purpose that I traced Kohra to the winding maze of the ruin.

By the time I tracked Kohra to the northernmost corner of the ruins, my heart was steeled with inexorability of purpose. I had resolved that no matter what might come pass, Kohra was not to leave that place to continue on his dread action. I lashed out at him with rebuking words, calling to his attention the selfishness of his purport and childishness of his demeanor, reminding him (as you did me, once before) that his life was not his to discard as he will, but belongs to all who love him. In turn, he railed at me for as many sins as he could invoke.

I even drew blade against my close friend, for if I had to, I was fully prepared to use force to compel him to obey me. This enraged him further, and in stubbornness his furor at me rose, and he tore into me with every weapon of word and feeling that he could summon. Not with ears alone, but with my soul did I hear each word he flung at me. And although I endured what I could, my entire being thrummed with each word that pierced me, and his feelings, ever uncontrolled and wild with their free rein, passed through me, taking bits and pieces of my soul with them.

His rage and grief were sated only when he informed me that my behavior had driven him to these actions, that my frequent disappearances had disappointed him and indeed our entire group, and that it was my callousness, my uncaring, that inflamed him so. Indeed, his words rang with truth, and I had for him no response. I -am- often gone, I -am- often aloof from the people that I care for the most; I am not human, not only because of my Zilartian nature, but because my emotional processes are not acceptable to others. To this, I have no real response, but I feel diminished by his words, as if I have somehow become less, as if I have bled from my very spirit. I would say that I feel worthless, but that sounds self-indulgent; perhaps I have merely become fully aware of my own nature for the first time.

Kohra eventually withdrew; I believe he realized he had said all to me that he could say. I wonder if he is satisfied? He seems to enjoy hurting me, if only to provoke an emotional reaction, but if my nature were not so alien, then he would not have to act so. He said he had changed for me, but I am not entirely sure if he has. I technically owe him nothing, but I feel filthy now in my own skin, as if I have become aware that my skin itself is the filth. Self-loathing, however, is nothing new to me, so why does this feeling wash over me with its stomach-churning disgust?

He gave me his word that he returned home, so I at least accomplished the goal that I had set out to do. I recommend approaching the exchange with this villain Lillias with great caution. I apologize that I will not be able to engage her directly. But I have entire faith in you and
the others to defeat this creature and rescue the Prophet safely.

My warmest regard to you and yours, and those who are ours as well. Please watch over Kohra, as well, for me.

Sincerely,

Kre'oss